Common Girl Stuff

Every now and then I'll slowly get into this funk that happens to most of us girls. I'll start to look at myself in the mirror more, spend more time focusing on what can be improved, and then slowly just sink into unhappiness with the way that I look. I start thinking, "I should really start a stricter diet" or "I should do more cardio". It's funny because last year at this time, I was ten pounds heavier than I am now, ate whatever I wanted, and exercised only twice a week and that was only at dance practice. Back then these days were rare. Ever since I started cheer practices this year, these days have become more and more frequent. At the beginning of the season I was the heaviest flyer. I have it in my mind that I was the "fat flyer", although I know that makes no sense because if I was actually fat, Coach wouldn't have made me a flyer. Once you get something like this in your mind though, the devil takes a hold of it and makes it grow. He makes me think that I am huge compared to the other girls on my team. He makes me think that I'm overweight. Logically, I know that this is unreasonable. I eat healthy (with a few too many desserts sometimes) and work out five days a week on top of cheer practices. I wear size small clothing and size 3 jeans at the largest. I'm continually told that I'm "tiny", "little", or my favorite "you're a little person!!" hahah. But somehow he still gets to me. It's getting worse. Today I found myself subconsciously considering crash diets before I caught myself. That's when I knew that the devil had too much of a hold on me. That's why I'm writing this. I need to put it in writing. I need to confess it to other living beings. I don't need someone to sit there and tell me, "Kaitlyn you're not fat! You're being stupid". I just need to get this out, to have a listener. I know that God will get me through this. He wins the battle and I'm on his side. I need to look towards him every time I feel fat. I need to realize that I can't fight the devil on my own. I need to realize that God made me, and that means I'm beautiful. Sometimes it just takes some convincing.