Sometimes there's just something you really want to do. You know that it'd be the right thing to do if you're going by the books but every time you get the chance to do it, you back out. Your feelings change. You feel guilty and think, "I should really end this." Even though what you're doing isn't necessarily a bad thing, it just makes things harder for you. But what happens when you're not strong enough? Do you give in or finally end it? It will have to end sometime, so why can't I just make it be now? How come every time I come within ten feet of you everything suddenly seems okay. I mean, Jesus didn't really do things by the books either, right? God had to give me these feelings for a reason. Did he give me these feelings? I'm so confused. I know that he brought you into my life for a reason, but you don't see that. Because you don't see him. And now I just don't know what to do.
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