I’m not a good writer, but sometimes you just have to write.

I’m normally more of a visual person so writing is a pretty foreign concept to me. Words never seem to come out like I plan them to. They’re always all rearranged and misspelled (I’ve used spellcheck twice so far) but recently I’ve felt the need to write. Not so that anyone will read it, just so that I can get it out. In fact, I’m not sure that I’m even going to tell any of my friends I’ve made a blog. Maybe it’ll just be for me and all the strangers who happen across it.

Anyway today has been a rather relaxing day in spite of things. I went to my two classes this morning, got a salad for lunch and ate it while venting to my mother over the phone. Then I had a meeting with my philosophy teacher (aka. peter pan meets aristotle — girl version). That took literally about five minutes. Afterwords I walked down to Lake Mary Nell and found the ducks. I’d brought the ends of my loaf of bread which they rather enjoyed. They tried to bite my fingers off a couple of times. Good thing ducks don’t actually have teeth or I’d be hurting right now. So basically I sat with the ducks for about an hour laughing at how they were acting like dogs. I kept getting weird looks from people passing by who saw me giggling to myself. But you would’ve laughed too. I promise. Feeding the ducks is probably my new favorite thing to do. I think I’m going to try and stop by again on Thursday, this time I’ll bring my camera and try to get some good pictures of them. After I ran out of bread I just sat on one of the swings by the lake and read for awhile. The ducks all fell asleep. Around 2:45 I headed over to one of the coffee shops on campus and treated myself to a white mocha and worked on a paper for a bit. I love how the coffee shop always has good music playing. Old stuff, like Frank Sinatra. That’s my favorite to hear in a coffee shop. I’m back in my room now. I should be doing homework because I have practice in about an hour. Oh well. 

I started reading this book. It’s called Crazy Love by Francis Chan. It had been recommended to me by numerous people and now I see why. I didn’t think it would tell me anything new. I don’t know why I always assume to know everything, especially about something so complex. Of course I’m learning new things like crazy. I love seeing other people’s thoughts. Francis knows God. I want a relationship like that too. I’ve been messing up a lot recently, but I think I’m finally getting back on track. 

Hold me to that.

There’s a quote from the book that’s been governing my thought today. It’s really helped me a lot, so I’ll share it with you…

“Worry implies that we don’t quite trust that God is big enough, powerful enough, or loving enough to take care of what’s happening in our lives. Stress say that the things we are involved in are important enough to merit our impatience, our lack of grace toward others, or our tight grip of control.”

God is powerful enough and he loves us enough to take our worries and our stress away if we just trust Him. So what are we holding on to them for??